Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Panties = found
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
