you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
