I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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