You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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