4 words: hood of his car
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
