this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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