I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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