If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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