The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
