I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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