I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
