Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
