You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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