I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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