if you like me you must not know who I am
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My balls are so social today.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
