my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
FUCK WHALES
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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