I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
