last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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