It's like a parade of train wrecks.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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