id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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