I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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