I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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