You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
