Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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