Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize