im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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