I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
