i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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