good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
