For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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