Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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