she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
