ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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