Nicole vs. Life
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
