Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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