The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize