Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
