Sponge bath it is.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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