Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
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