Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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