Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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