ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
