I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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