So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I have aggressive nipples.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
