he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize