You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
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