We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
