I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.