The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..