A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
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You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that