careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??