u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
