My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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