I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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