THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
