Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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