I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
