The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
please come you make the beer taste better
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
