you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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