I love black thongs
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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