Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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